The View from Chuckonia: Facebook After A Decade - A Wonder, A Weapon, and A World Unto Itself

With Facebook hitting its tenth anniversary this year and generating a lot of celebratory hype, I’ve been thinking a lot about what a social, technological, and commercial phenomenon it has been. To put it in my own historical perspective, Facebook has now been around for the last third of my life, and I’ve been a user/member of the site for about that long.

I remember, when I first joined, only being able to add other students or alumni of the University of Memphis because Facebook (or “The” Facebook at that time) only allowed networking within one’s own school and was exclusive to those possessing a college-based e-mail address. It was nice because it was a kind of members-only club for college students. It was also the only way we knew Facebook. In the beginning, it was a useful tool for sharing information with folks in a specific community – your school. It also allowed someone to get to know unfamiliar classmates a bit better and promote campus events. It quickly grew into far more.

It was quite a boom when all the member schools joined on one universal Facebook, but that paled in comparison to the point when Facebook’s exclusivity was eliminated and EVERYONE could join. Indeed, everyone seemed to do so. I remember that year well. Many of the high school students with which I worked at the Governor’s School joined after their summer with us and there were long lists of “friend requests” for all of the counselors from students that had not yet graduated. Facebook became a great way to keep track of the students that had made an impact on our lives from year to year. I still get news and messages from those students that were with us in Memphis as long ago as 2004, during my first summer as a counselor. I may not have seen them in person in as many years, but we are linked across the miles in an impressive way. On the flipside of the high school Facebook boom, there were also adults of all ages (whether having attended college or not) who joined up when the virtual doors flew open. Across the country, there was a collective reciting by high school and college students of “My dad just added me on Facebook,” or “My mom just friended me,” or “Gosh, I didn’t think my parents would sign up.” In the years since, there are a lot kids on the network that don’t really remember its beginning and parents who knew how to use it before they sent many regular e-mails. That, in fact, is one of the things that makes Facebook such a phenomenon – it is its own Internet experience. Many people seem to communicate directly with other individuals more via Facebook than through a traditional e-mail account. Contests are entered, pictures and videos and music are shared, and fan bases are established and tracked through Facebook as much (or more) as any other medium. It’s even gone commercial for its users, hosting several venues by which goods and services are sold. It also, naturally, hosts advertisements that lead to purchases from established businesses. In all these ways and others, Facebook has come a long way and proven to be its own online world separate from, yet often connected to, any other website or forum.

I shouldn’t even venture into what Facebook has done to and for political discourse in the world. In the last few years, many candidates and political organization have credited social media, particularly Facebook, with their rises and falls. The line “Look what they did with social media” has been used to describe, now, multiple political victories. But the way this has been made possible is as much a symptom of the other advantages and social norms of Facebook as it is its own concept.

On Facebook, we each have our own online identity. Unlike some earlier forms of online activity, this identity is kept in check by the network of people, including those who we actually know, that we build as users (you can only fudge so much about yourself if people you live with, work with, hang out with, etc. are on your friend list). As Facebook’s functions and ease of use have evolved and we as a society have come to treat it as the most common of online forums, there has been a marked change in what people share and how they share it. Sometimes, this is where Facebook proves to be a blessing and a curse. Generally speaking, we share everything now! Particularly with Facebook’s linkage to most smartphones, it is almost possible to feed every waking thought some people have into their pages. Some seem to try it. It gets to be too much. But, I guess it’s one of those “to each his own” points of online existence. In the beginning, there were statuses, and statuses gave a general statement about a person’s day or overall activity or whatever. I liked it when the status was automatically a sentence starting with you name. All I had to do was end the sentence “Chuck Grimes is _______.” It was a creative little online blip. Kind of like MadLibs, but you had to come up with a few more words. Many folks updated their status once a day as, kind of, their daily report to the world as it remained lodged on top of their profile page. I fell in line with the crowd that used the status to identify a geographic location (a lot of us did back then) and usually set mine to say “Chuck Grimes is somewhere you’re not.” It was true for most folks when they saw it. As Facebook got more common, its user base broader, and the ease of operation even simpler, folks started seeming to post every move they made, thought they had, or miniscule step in their day-to-day life. My running joke used to be that someone would wake up and post “I just woke up.” Then, they would post “Trying to decide what to eat for breakfast.” A few minutes later, they would post “Eating cereal for breakfast… again.” Later posts might include “Getting dressed for work,” “Leaving for work,” “Just got to work. Why am I here?!” Only exaggerating a bit, I knew some who took to Facebook that heavily and still catch some posts from time to time with that kind of ridiculous play-by-play which makes me wonder what they watch on television to give them the idea that such a script is entertaining or even interesting (it’s not like Peter Griffin narrating his day).

From self-generated reports on all the news that ain’t news, more Facebook users seem to lean toward putting the formerly called “status update” to use for the display of opinions. What’s the old line about opinions? Everybody has one, just like an @#*!^%e. Yes, we all have them (ask me anytime and I’ll share several… opinions, that is). Thanks to Facebook, however, we’ve turned into a culture of constant opinion declarations with no spelling or grammar checks. Call me old fashioned, but I tend to respect a written statement of thought a lot more if it looks like it was proofread with, at least, the speed at which it was thought and written. I’ve used it as a bulletin board for my own interpretations of the world, too, but still prefer a longer written format (like this) or a good old-fashioned verbal interaction (whatever those are now) for sharing my detailed views of anything, whether my views matter or not (This is the part where I thank you for reading. J). Sometimes, folks prove that they, too, need another forum, or perhaps a companion guide to their Facebook wall, to explain the source of posts that are clearly written with a specific life event, person, or backstory in mind. Why post the end or moral of the story with some type of reference or hint of the tale’s beginning but give no explanation? Not everyone on a person’s Facebook list is well-versed in that person’s daily life or offline interactions to understand it all. Facebook is a conversation with the world. So, don’t you want your conversation partners to understand what you put before them? My theory (which I’m not posting as a Facebook status) is that we have developed the Internet equivalent to walking into a room and letting out a loud sigh just for the purpose of soliciting an obligatory “What’s wrong?” from whoever is around. I’ve often called this a manifestation of “Got-the-Vapors Syndrome.” We all display it in some form at some time but, yes, there are those for whom it is rather commonplace for a variety of reasons. Facebook has just formalized it.

In a more positive light, however, Facebook does allow for the mass informing of relatives and friends when a loved one is very sick or injured or has passed away. It’s good to reach out to those who wouldn’t necessarily be called quickly but should be made aware of such things. I’ve grown very accustomed to seeing the daily string of prayer requests from friends and family and hope that those who always “like” those notices (doesn’t always seem like the appropriate word to click) or write “prayers” as a one-word comment are actually praying and supporting their loved ones in need. Facebook can easily become host to faith and attention in word or for show only if folks don’t think about what they are clicking and/or writing.

A negative byproduct that I see in the clouds floating between the practice of Facebook-based “Got-the-Vapors Syndrome” and sharing news of unfortunate events that others genuinely want and need to know about, however, is the irresponsible appointing of ourselves as a combination news reporter, judge, jury, and executioner. I’m sure I did some of this in the early years of Facebook and openly admit to being such a person in my offline life without a mouse and keyboard, but it has become widespread to a scary degree online. Growing up in the locale of the tragic disappearance of Holly Bobo but now living 100 miles away, I followed the case as much through Facebook as any other medium. Friends and relatives would post every news article or related video clip over the 3 years after her disappearance, and I never had to perform an Internet search to find them. Again, prayer requests and pleas from the Bobo family were often displayed online, as along the streets of Decatur County and Henderson County. Most of these things were constructive and kept the effort to find answers very much alive. When the prime suspect in her murder was finally arrested recently, the media in much of the state took notice once again and the Facebook traffic increased from heavy to massively enormous. I only say that it increased because it did. But, it really didn’t have to increase much, as it always existed at an impressively high level. According to the media and the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation, evidence was found and a criminal was caught. I truly hope and pray that the TBI got it right, as a confusing aftermath to the tragedy of the past three years would be a separate and gut-wrenching tragedy on its own. However, many details of the investigation, arrest, and evidence in the case have still not been revealed. That’s where Facebook comes in with the fury of a thousand clicks. Media report an arrest. They don’t conduct a trial and, even in many cases in which they report on a crime and an arrest, they don’t necessarily cover a trial and conviction thoroughly. However, on Facebook, all we seem to need is an arrest. Then, enter the deluge of guilty verdicts, punishment suggestions, and theories on every detail not yet exposed. As a Facebook community, all we need is a “who done it” and then we fill in the blanks on “how he done it” and follow up with “what’s gonna get done with him.” This is a sad case to view as an example, as I truly hope that the arrest was valid. If so, I hope the verdict comes quickly and would have no problem with the killer getting the chair for what he is charged with doing. However, the version of public discourse that Facebook nurtures in this case and many others frightens me. There have been other cases – with less time, exposure, or detail – that have and continue to generate instant guilty verdicts from the court of public opinion simply because a few folks post and repost a news story or what they heard “in town.” I fear that Facebook becomes a pre-emptive weapon to damage lives that haven’t been given a fair examination by the people who should, and even the people who should not, conduct such examination. I’ve never been good at thinking before I speak, but I always thought anyone could think before they type. Do we? Do we not? Or does Facebook just show us how little some folks think at all?

For some things on Facebook, we need not think too much. As when the Internet became widely used in schools, businesses, and homes, it is simply a great way to communicate across the miles. I remember the commercials for America Online and other web services in the 1990s that would show parents talking about e-mailing their kid in college or the grandparents who loved getting pictures of the grandkids soon after the camera snapped. Facebook allows those functions in advanced form and so much more. It’s fun and useful all the time. And, as it allows a “conversation with the world,” you can easily spread a general message, picture, or shoutout of any kind to as many people as you want. Everyone has their style of “Facebooking.” My two favorite things to do with it, publicly, are share songs or videos from cool celebrities on their birthdays and, most importantly, show off pictures of my son. Some folks follow one or both of those things pretty closely. Sometimes, we just catch a post here and there as they pop up in newsfeeds. As “Facebookers,” we can be anything from casual observers to dedicated stalkers (Haha! Had them and been one. It’s a trade-off, I guess.) in each other’s lives. Then again, maybe we’re all Facebook stalkers of varying degrees. No casual observers on the net, right?

In the years I have used it, I have had a love-hate relationship with Facebook. I miss the old exclusivity but have enjoyed using it for more mass communication with those I might not otherwise connect with so much. It gets cluttered with advertisements and page suggestions, but such things exist for a purpose and have brought some good products, movies, music, and events to my attention. Private messages are often a convenient alternative to e-mail but have a “big brother” feel now that they automatically show when they’ve been read. Outside of the private messaging function on Facebook, I remind us all that the program is very much a conversation with the world and should be treated as such. If you need to pull someone aside to say something to them, do it. Not everything has to be a post on a wall or a comment to a post. However, if you’ve got sometime cool to share – share it! No matter what, don’t let real communication die just because the Internet makes its life support system look good with a site like Facebook. Pick up the phone once in a while. Go visiting now and then. Human presence and a human voice is still the best way to interact, whenever possible. But, when that’s not an option, look me up on Facebook. I’ll be watching.