The Moments - Chapter 14: Joey's Favorite Teacher

       A child can never have too much love, too much fun, or too many people to help and teach and guide him through life. I am reminded of this in many ways but especially so whenever Joey is around my girlfriend, Krista. She’s been like a second mother to him, and I am so glad and grateful that she cares for him so well and adores him so much. Joey loves her too. Though he may not be at a stage in life to express it directly, he appreciates everything she does for him, from the everyday stuff to the extra special stuff. Joey holds her in a special place in his heart and life. He shows it in a thousand little ways – like scooting up close to her on the couch to watch cartoons or happily chasing after the bubbles they blow with his bubble gun outside or asking me “Where’s Kwista?” when he thinks she ought to be nearby. As his speech and understanding have developed, he has called her everything from Tissa to Kissa to, occasionally, Tissa Momma (back when he called every female “Momma”) to the more frequent and current Kwista (his R’s still tend to become W’s in some words). He also seems to have learned a lot from her about the world and about dealing with the man he calls “Daddy.” Krista may be an elementary school teacher by trade, but she and Joey have shown how great she is with kids of all ages.

       Joey has gotten many of his “how to deal with Daddy” lessons from Krista at the dinner table. He almost always sides with her if she and I are teasing each other. It’s fun. As his speech and sense of humor were developing (funny how both of those tracks run at the same time), Joey learned that he wouldn’t always tolerate my goofiness (he shares that with others). To encourage him to eat his vegetables and clean his plate at supper, I once began to instantaneously rewrite Elvis songs to deliver the message of finishing his meal. Perhaps I was a bit off key. Perhaps my original lyrics were a bit unconventional. In any case, Krista quickly gave me a sigh and a dirty look which Joey picked up on immediately. From his highchair, with a raised hand and a proud look, my son exhibited a dose of truly comical attitude and said, “Enough, Daddy.” That was that. I stopped singing. But over the next few weeks, I tested him some more with my comical compositions. Each time, I heard, “Enough, Daddy.” Sometimes Krista coached him, and sometimes he didn’t need it. Either way, he’d score one for the duo of Joey and Krista. In more recent weeks, they caught me in a habit I wouldn’t have even noticed without their attentive concern. As we sat down to supper one night, I had poured myself an old favorite – a mix of Diet Sprite, orange juice, and red Kool-Aid. Without thinking, as I sat down, I gave the drink in my glass a little stir with my finger to blend it (I had, of course, washed my hands). From Krista, I heard a sigh and a grunt. “What is it?” I asked. She said, “You’re using your hand to stir that.” I shrugged it off, “That’s ok.” To which she reminded me, “It’s not when you’re in front of your two-year-old.” Joey didn’t miss a beat. He scolded me with a slowly-delivered line to back her up, “Don’t stir you lemonade with you finger, Daddy.” And then, with a short pause and a raised hand of power, he declared, “You use a straw!” They smiled and laughed at each other, and I sat chastised. Joey and Krista’s dinner-table displays aren’t all about me though. On another occasion, we were eating pasta, and Krista got some sauce on her shirt. She huffed and puffed at herself, drawing Joey’s attention away from wherever it was. As he saw her wiping the sauce from her shirt, Joey reached a hand out as if to try to calm her from something worse, patted her arm, and sincerely said, “It’s alright Kwista. It’s not you fault.” Awww! It was so sweet. But, I couldn’t help but think of all the times Joey simply told me (sometimes at Krista’s prompting) “Daddy need a bib.” I guess we know the pecking order at mealtime.

       Krista loves animals and, as any small child would be, Joey is already fascinated by the diversity of the animal kingdom. Krista has helped Joey take his animal interests farther in numerous ways. Most of the books that Krista has given Joey throughout his life have been about animals (including a fun animal picture dictionary). They have opened his eyes to many species that we couldn’t show him in our usual surroundings, or even at the zoo. Joey loves seeing the pictures and hearing the descriptions of different animals, and he especially enjoys imitating animal sounds. Beyond the books, Krista frequently suggests that we take Joey to the zoo to see some of those amazing creatures in person. Even if only for a quick stroll around the zoo grounds, we know that a visit there stirs Joey’s interest and imagination. The zoo is like Joey’s ultimate playground. As an in-home token of our journeys there, Krista bought Joey a stuffed meerkat which ranks as one of his favorite stuffed toys and a reminder of one of his favorite spots at the Nashville Zoo. Beyond all other animals, Krista loves dogs the most. She is a volunteer and advocate for a local dog rescue group and goes above and beyond anyone I’ve ever known in caring for “man’s best friend.” As such, Joey enjoyed hanging out with her first dog, the late Oscar Meyer, and now with Buddy. Joey really likes playing with dogs and watching them function, and he considers Buddy his furry friend. Joey likes taking Buddy to the park and helping Krista feed him. To help him understand how Buddy “operates” as a living creature, Krista has made a few comparisons between things Buddy does to things we humans do. I learned this in true Joey fashion when he and I were walking Buddy outside Krista’s apartment one day and Buddy relieved himself in the grass. Joey waited for Buddy to complete his natural business transaction and then pointed to him and said, “Buddy, you need to wash you hands.” Buddy kept walking. Joey was not satisfied. Again and louder, he said, “Buddy, you need to wash you hands!” Later, Krista shared with me that she had told Joey that that’s what a dog is doing when he scrapes his rear paws after taking care of business. (As serious as Joey was getting, I nearly thought we’d have to get some soap and take Buddy to a sink somewhere.) In addition to letting Joey enjoy the company of her pet, Krista was also responsible for providing Joey with his own first pet. More in keeping with the way Joey and I keep house, she went for something that doesn’t shed or need to be walked. Enter “Elvis the Blue Fish” (Joey always uses his full name). The beautiful Blue Betta, named by Joey, now shares his bedroom and lives in a well-adorned fish tank that we call “Blue Hawaii.” Joey likes watching and feeding Elvis and shows him off to everyone that comes to our home. He was certainly one of Krista’s greatest gifts to my son. Up close or from a distance, Krista has enhanced Joey’s exposure to and knowledge of animals and turned him into almost as much of an animal lover as she is.

       Being around Joey has brought out a lot of Krista’s creative instincts. Kids do that for most of us. This winter, she surprised us with a large Peanuts-themed cardboard indoor clubhouse that the three of us constructed and colored and played in for several weeks (ok, Joey was the only one who could easily fit in it to play in it, but Daddy J and me tried). Joey loved it, and we all enjoyed it as a fun project. In reality, Krista did most of the decorating. I never knew she liked to color so much! This summer, when Krista and I were brainstorming some cool ways to commemorate Joey's “half-birthday” (hey, Christmastime babies have to do something), she came up with the best dessert option. To honor the ultimate fan of “The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse,” she made Mickey and Minnie cupcakes with Oreo cookies for ears and crushed Oreos over the icing for Mickey and raspberry icing on the Minnie tops. They were so cute and so delicious! Joey made a show out of eating the first one and, in following days, he loved finishing Krista’s “Mickey Mouse muffins,” as he called them. Whether in edible or visible form, Krista’s creativity hits a high whenever Joey is involved.

       While I call Krista “Joey’s favorite teacher” for all the things she has taught him and helped him experience beyond all the basic ways that she helps Joey and me, he’s gotten to experience a little bit of her professional world, too. During the last school year, Joey and I took lunch to Krista one day and paid a visit to her classroom. She was teaching First Grade at the time, and I couldn’t tell if Joey was more fascinated by the older kids around him or if they were more enthralled with him. It was a fun experience seeing them interact and reminded me how lucky all of those children were to have Krista in their lives. I hope that when Joey is in school that he will have many teachers as good and dedicated as Krista is to her students. But, until then, I’m glad that he already has the real deal. Krista loves being a part of Joey’s life. And Joey is blessed and better off by having Krista in it, too.