The Moments - Chapter 13: That's Why We Call Them GRANDparents

               I am constantly amazed by what a catalyst Joey has been for many new positive aspects in my life and the lives of others.  He gives me the opportunity to see things and people differently, often just by creating a new interaction point with them.  I believe for anyone with a child (or children), this is most evident by the renewed look we can take at our parents.  Hopefully, for all of us, it’s a positive one.  Until Joey was born, I saw life through the eyes of a solo-flying adult with the perspectives of son and little brother well-mastered in my mind, having been both for almost three decades at the time.  Since Joey’s birth, I can now compare and contrast those views with the viewpoint of a father, a man on whom another being truly depends.  While that is, essentially, what “The Moments” are all about, I also see another side of my life differently.  My parents are no longer “just” my parents.  They are Joey’s grandparents.  That creates a new role and perspective in their lives along with giving me a new view of them and their place in my life as we all watch each other love Joey and see him grow in his relationships with each of us.  Joey is extremely blessed to have two wonderful grandparents so actively and lovingly involved in his life.  As much as Joey impresses each of us (and everyone he meets), my Daddy and Mama have impressed me over the past nearly three years with their exhibitions of newfound grandparenthood and the enjoyment they have had with the little man who makes everything big fun.  No longer are they Daddy and Mama for, in the era of Joey, they are now Daddy J and Mama Tee. 

               Before getting to Joey’s grandparents, however, let me pay tribute to my own.  I was very fortunate to have all four of my grandparents in my life for most of it.  In fact, when I was born I still had all four of my maternal great-grandparents too.  My grandparents each contributed to who I am, and I cannot imagine what my life would have been like growing up without having known any one or all of them.  It would have been a joy for each of those who have already departed this life to have known Joey and enjoyed the light that he brings to everyone in our family.  I see that light every time he is around my Grandmama.  From the first time she met him and each time since, she has glowed with a smile and warmth which both reminds me of what others probably saw in her when my brother and my cousin and me were young and reminds me of what a natural generator of fun and happiness that Joey is.  Over the last couple of years, Grandmama has seen some significant changes in her life, between minor and major health scares to making the move into an assisted living facility.  At each point, Joey has made many days a little lighter and brighter for her, and he has even turned her assisted living apartment into his own indoor playground (he’s a big hit with her new neighbors, too).  For one of the people who, to me, set the standard in grandparenthood, Grandmama deserves nothing less.

               The standard that my Grandmama helped establish is being well honored by my own parents.  While I always knew that, given the opportunity, my parents would be amazing grandparents, I am constantly reminded how far beyond correct I am on that fact.  Just as Joey continues to display his ever-increasing connection to Daddy J and Mama Tee, they do not cease to impress with the affection, energy, and frequent generosity they show toward Joey.

               When I was a little boy, my Daddy was the strongest, coolest, funniest guy I knew.  He kept me laughing and, in my eyes, could do just about anything.  While that is still basically true, mine and his aging changed the modes of operation a bit and weakened my recognition of it as years progressed and life evolved (it’s called growing up).  Enter the Joey Factor.  With the addition of Joey in our lives, I almost see Daddy through a kind of time warp lens when I was a tot and Daddy was in his 30s.  Daddy’s energy is impressive when Joey is around, and they keep each other laughing with an infectious force that spreads to anyone near them.  From Joey’s earliest months of life, Daddy J could always put him at ease and keep a smile on his face.  Joey loves his Daddy J, and I love watching them have fun together, whether I’m a part of it in the moment or not.  When Joey and I were back home in Lexington for his first Christmas, they literally made a fun hour with just a mixing bowl and some wooden spoons.  Joey was a cute little drummer with an oversized helmet.  At that size, the bowl made for an interesting chair, too.  Daddy has always delighted in connecting Joey with animals and nature, taking him to farms near my “old homeplace” to run amongst chickens and goats and to see plants that he might not view much in the city where we live.  Mama and Daddy always keep a stock of episodes of “The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” recorded on their DVR.  When Joey and I are at their house, Daddy J is Joey’s favorite TV-watching buddy.  I think I’ve heard “Oh Toodles!” come out of my Daddy’s mouth more times than Joey’s.  Joey stays glued to the show anytime and anywhere it is on, but it’s obvious that watching it is more special to him when he does it with Daddy J.  Naturally, my Daddy, car enthusiast extraordinaire and resident racing fan, has also been the primary engineer of Joey’s interest in cars and, really, all vehicles.  From trips to car museums and car shows to introducing Joey to a full-sized Tow Mater from “Cars,” Daddy has exposed Joey to the art and variety that comes from America’s four-wheeled passion.  He has also let Joey experience a variety of practical vehicles, motorized and not.  Whether Daddy is letting Joey pretend to drive his 1938 Chevy Coup or he is actually pushing or pulling Joey in a wheelbarrow or wagon, they always seem to be flaunting their wheels together – and loving it.  When it was time for Joey to take his first go-kart ride, he proudly strapped in at Daddy J’s side as co-pilot before passing me after three laps to leave me in a cloud of dust.  In everything they do, Daddy and Joey bring lots of smiles and lots of joy to each other.  In that, they are a pair with a superpower that benefits everyone around them.

Goats and chickens and Joey! Oh my!

THE Tow-Mater

Speed Demons

               If, as a youngster, I saw Daddy as the man who could do it all, I certainly knew my Mama was the woman who could also do it all.  With Joey in the picture, that fact is reaffirmed time and time again.  Mama was always a thorough caretaker and nurturing mother.  Now, she takes those roles to their “grand” level and makes everything, big or small, more fun and more of an event than one would expect.  Whether it is putting together the right outfit for Joey to wear as Ring Bearer in my best friend’s wedding or arranging for a most appropriately and amazingly decorated cake for Joey’s second birthday or helping arrange and decorate Joey’s first bedroom, Mama has made the ordinary into the extraordinary and made it look too simple to be true.  Taking the word “made” more exactly, she has also adorned Joey’s world with some of the signature furniture pieces that he has put to much use as well.  Mama and Daddy were already constructing and recreating furniture and home accessories before Joey was born.  When he came along, the ideas and beautiful pieces started to flow even more.  The highchair Joey used at our home was the product of some great painting and accenting by Mama Tee; the lamp table in his bedroom was found and creatively adorned by her; and the unique chest of drawers, with vehicle handles in the top units, was found and refinished just for Joey by Mama Tee and Daddy J.  Between those pieces and the rocking chair, in which Mama rocked my brother and me as little ones, being in his room, it is as if Mama’s creativity and labor keep a part of her close to Joey when he is in our home, whether she is in Nashville or not.  She has shared that creativity with Joey directly, too.  It was a lot of fun watching them paint Easter eggs this year.  Perhaps she is training him up to be the next resident artist.  When the two of them are together, it is always an event.  In Nashville, Lexington, or anywhere else, Mama loves showing Joey off as the amazing boy of whom she is so proud.  If they are out running errands, she always comes back with stories of how Joey brightened everyone’s day, made her laugh, or pointed out every single product on the Wal-Mart shelves.  As it is through my mother’s bloodline that my appreciation of music is truly grounded (unfortunately, I didn’t get the actual talent there), it is only natural that Joey displays his love of song around Mama Tee so much.  While he and I have our own singing and dancing rituals (primarily to the hits of Elvis), it is a whole experience to see and hear Joey perform along with his Mama Tee.  In the car or not, they love to join together in song and have fun with whatever is playing.  They’ve even added a few of their own special duet arrangements to Joey’s repertoire.  Whether by sight or sound or activity or even the signs of deeds done when she is not around, Mama Tee is a very important part of Joey’s life and his interactions with her are always special. 

Stylish and yummy!

So classic that it won't move.

Color is hatching everywhere.

               As is the case with most young children, the toy that has held the most consistent association with my son is the one with which he sleeps.  In Joey’s case, that toy is Blue the Musical Dog, a gift from Daddy J and Mama Tee.  They gave it to him when he was almost four months old, and he hasn’t lost interest in him since.  The first time Joey “met” Blue, he lit up and, ever since, he knows Blue must be close by when it is time to go to sleep at Daddy’s house.  Much like the chest of drawers that sits near Joey’s bed, it is like Joey’s grandparents are close by when Blue is in Joey’s arms or lying next to him as he sleeps.

               Joey talks to my parents on the phone very regularly, but it is the personal and visual interaction that really brings the fun out of him.  Sometimes, I think he shows his yearning for that almost unconsciously.  Very recently, after picking him up from his mother’s house and driving our usual route to mine, Joey asked me out of the blue, “Are we going to our house, or to Mama Tee and Daddy J’s house?”  He gave me no argument when I said ours, but he had a look on his face that made me believe he was fully expecting such a trip soon.  A few weeks ago, Mama and Daddy suggested that Krista and Joey and I meet them for lunch on a Sunday to be followed by some fun time wherever we could find a good place to go.  Great idea.  We met in Dickson for lunch but found our after-lunch options limited as it had rained enough to eliminate most outdoor play places.  Before we realized just how much the rain had done, we drove to a local park to see if the structure was dry and clear enough.  Pulling into parallel parking spaces of each other, Krista and Joey and I sat in my car, while Daddy and Mama were in theirs.  My passenger window was open and their driver’s side window was open to allow us to converse for just a moment.  As the windows were rolling back up, we all heard a call to attention from my backseat.  “Daddy J!  Mama Tee!” Joey declared.  Krista rolled Joey’s window down so that he could project from his carseat.  Mama and Daddy realized he was trying to get their attention and one of them said, “What, Joey?”  Again, he announced, very clearly but slowly, “Daddy J!... Mama Tee… I’m in the car!” And, thus, Joey had spoken.  We all laughed a little.  Mama decided to give him a reply, “Ok!  We’re in the car too, Joey.”  And Joey happily shouted back, “Ok!”  He didn’t really need anything, but he had a smile on his face that said he just wanted to remind Daddy J and Mama Tee that he was there for them, just like he knows they are always there for him.