The Moments - Chapter 14: Joey's Favorite Teacher

       A child can never have too much love, too much fun, or too many people to help and teach and guide him through life. I am reminded of this in many ways but especially so whenever Joey is around my girlfriend, Krista. She’s been like a second mother to him, and I am so glad and grateful that she cares for him so well and adores him so much. Joey loves her too. Though he may not be at a stage in life to express it directly, he appreciates everything she does for him, from the everyday stuff to the extra special stuff. Joey holds her in a special place in his heart and life. He shows it in a thousand little ways – like scooting up close to her on the couch to watch cartoons or happily chasing after the bubbles they blow with his bubble gun outside or asking me “Where’s Kwista?” when he thinks she ought to be nearby. As his speech and understanding have developed, he has called her everything from Tissa to Kissa to, occasionally, Tissa Momma (back when he called every female “Momma”) to the more frequent and current Kwista (his R’s still tend to become W’s in some words). He also seems to have learned a lot from her about the world and about dealing with the man he calls “Daddy.” Krista may be an elementary school teacher by trade, but she and Joey have shown how great she is with kids of all ages.

       Joey has gotten many of his “how to deal with Daddy” lessons from Krista at the dinner table. He almost always sides with her if she and I are teasing each other. It’s fun. As his speech and sense of humor were developing (funny how both of those tracks run at the same time), Joey learned that he wouldn’t always tolerate my goofiness (he shares that with others). To encourage him to eat his vegetables and clean his plate at supper, I once began to instantaneously rewrite Elvis songs to deliver the message of finishing his meal. Perhaps I was a bit off key. Perhaps my original lyrics were a bit unconventional. In any case, Krista quickly gave me a sigh and a dirty look which Joey picked up on immediately. From his highchair, with a raised hand and a proud look, my son exhibited a dose of truly comical attitude and said, “Enough, Daddy.” That was that. I stopped singing. But over the next few weeks, I tested him some more with my comical compositions. Each time, I heard, “Enough, Daddy.” Sometimes Krista coached him, and sometimes he didn’t need it. Either way, he’d score one for the duo of Joey and Krista. In more recent weeks, they caught me in a habit I wouldn’t have even noticed without their attentive concern. As we sat down to supper one night, I had poured myself an old favorite – a mix of Diet Sprite, orange juice, and red Kool-Aid. Without thinking, as I sat down, I gave the drink in my glass a little stir with my finger to blend it (I had, of course, washed my hands). From Krista, I heard a sigh and a grunt. “What is it?” I asked. She said, “You’re using your hand to stir that.” I shrugged it off, “That’s ok.” To which she reminded me, “It’s not when you’re in front of your two-year-old.” Joey didn’t miss a beat. He scolded me with a slowly-delivered line to back her up, “Don’t stir you lemonade with you finger, Daddy.” And then, with a short pause and a raised hand of power, he declared, “You use a straw!” They smiled and laughed at each other, and I sat chastised. Joey and Krista’s dinner-table displays aren’t all about me though. On another occasion, we were eating pasta, and Krista got some sauce on her shirt. She huffed and puffed at herself, drawing Joey’s attention away from wherever it was. As he saw her wiping the sauce from her shirt, Joey reached a hand out as if to try to calm her from something worse, patted her arm, and sincerely said, “It’s alright Kwista. It’s not you fault.” Awww! It was so sweet. But, I couldn’t help but think of all the times Joey simply told me (sometimes at Krista’s prompting) “Daddy need a bib.” I guess we know the pecking order at mealtime.

       Krista loves animals and, as any small child would be, Joey is already fascinated by the diversity of the animal kingdom. Krista has helped Joey take his animal interests farther in numerous ways. Most of the books that Krista has given Joey throughout his life have been about animals (including a fun animal picture dictionary). They have opened his eyes to many species that we couldn’t show him in our usual surroundings, or even at the zoo. Joey loves seeing the pictures and hearing the descriptions of different animals, and he especially enjoys imitating animal sounds. Beyond the books, Krista frequently suggests that we take Joey to the zoo to see some of those amazing creatures in person. Even if only for a quick stroll around the zoo grounds, we know that a visit there stirs Joey’s interest and imagination. The zoo is like Joey’s ultimate playground. As an in-home token of our journeys there, Krista bought Joey a stuffed meerkat which ranks as one of his favorite stuffed toys and a reminder of one of his favorite spots at the Nashville Zoo. Beyond all other animals, Krista loves dogs the most. She is a volunteer and advocate for a local dog rescue group and goes above and beyond anyone I’ve ever known in caring for “man’s best friend.” As such, Joey enjoyed hanging out with her first dog, the late Oscar Meyer, and now with Buddy. Joey really likes playing with dogs and watching them function, and he considers Buddy his furry friend. Joey likes taking Buddy to the park and helping Krista feed him. To help him understand how Buddy “operates” as a living creature, Krista has made a few comparisons between things Buddy does to things we humans do. I learned this in true Joey fashion when he and I were walking Buddy outside Krista’s apartment one day and Buddy relieved himself in the grass. Joey waited for Buddy to complete his natural business transaction and then pointed to him and said, “Buddy, you need to wash you hands.” Buddy kept walking. Joey was not satisfied. Again and louder, he said, “Buddy, you need to wash you hands!” Later, Krista shared with me that she had told Joey that that’s what a dog is doing when he scrapes his rear paws after taking care of business. (As serious as Joey was getting, I nearly thought we’d have to get some soap and take Buddy to a sink somewhere.) In addition to letting Joey enjoy the company of her pet, Krista was also responsible for providing Joey with his own first pet. More in keeping with the way Joey and I keep house, she went for something that doesn’t shed or need to be walked. Enter “Elvis the Blue Fish” (Joey always uses his full name). The beautiful Blue Betta, named by Joey, now shares his bedroom and lives in a well-adorned fish tank that we call “Blue Hawaii.” Joey likes watching and feeding Elvis and shows him off to everyone that comes to our home. He was certainly one of Krista’s greatest gifts to my son. Up close or from a distance, Krista has enhanced Joey’s exposure to and knowledge of animals and turned him into almost as much of an animal lover as she is.

       Being around Joey has brought out a lot of Krista’s creative instincts. Kids do that for most of us. This winter, she surprised us with a large Peanuts-themed cardboard indoor clubhouse that the three of us constructed and colored and played in for several weeks (ok, Joey was the only one who could easily fit in it to play in it, but Daddy J and me tried). Joey loved it, and we all enjoyed it as a fun project. In reality, Krista did most of the decorating. I never knew she liked to color so much! This summer, when Krista and I were brainstorming some cool ways to commemorate Joey's “half-birthday” (hey, Christmastime babies have to do something), she came up with the best dessert option. To honor the ultimate fan of “The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse,” she made Mickey and Minnie cupcakes with Oreo cookies for ears and crushed Oreos over the icing for Mickey and raspberry icing on the Minnie tops. They were so cute and so delicious! Joey made a show out of eating the first one and, in following days, he loved finishing Krista’s “Mickey Mouse muffins,” as he called them. Whether in edible or visible form, Krista’s creativity hits a high whenever Joey is involved.

       While I call Krista “Joey’s favorite teacher” for all the things she has taught him and helped him experience beyond all the basic ways that she helps Joey and me, he’s gotten to experience a little bit of her professional world, too. During the last school year, Joey and I took lunch to Krista one day and paid a visit to her classroom. She was teaching First Grade at the time, and I couldn’t tell if Joey was more fascinated by the older kids around him or if they were more enthralled with him. It was a fun experience seeing them interact and reminded me how lucky all of those children were to have Krista in their lives. I hope that when Joey is in school that he will have many teachers as good and dedicated as Krista is to her students. But, until then, I’m glad that he already has the real deal. Krista loves being a part of Joey’s life. And Joey is blessed and better off by having Krista in it, too. 

Dollars For Sense

         Thank God for teachers!  That’s probably one of many worn-out phrases that we all throw out from time to time when speaking of the obvious need for more respect, pay, benefits, and resources for America’s hard-working educators.  We may also throw it out when thinking back on the longsuffering men and women who tolerated our youthful impulsive behavior, building bodies of knowledge (though we always wanted to believe we knew more), and general life drama that they had to navigate amongst a few to a few dozen other young people.  Whatever past or present view you had or have of your teachers, I hope you can always agree on one thing – they deserve more.  They deserve more of everything – support from parents, respect from students, pay from their school or school system, and the list goes on forever.  In this piece, I want to focus on one “they deserve more” point.  Teachers deserve more and better resources with which to do their job and equip their classrooms. 

My girlfriend, Krista Brown, is a good teacher - a damn good teacher.  Her goal long before beginning her professional teaching career was always to work with kids and give them the best that she possibly could.  Now starting her ninth year as a teacher, that aim is the same.  Year after year, she has maintained that focus and done it well, though frustrating at times.  Before the administrative hurdles, the constantly-changing government regulations and standards, and the sometimes petty issues brought forth by parents, her #1 focus has consistently been her students.  I’ve seen how hard she works and have even had the pleasure of interacting with her students during each year of her career (it’s been tons of fun).  They may not recognize what all she is doing for them at the time, but they obviously enjoy it and benefit from her efforts.

So, why do I brag about my girlfriend’s professional makeup in blogged form now?  Let’s return to the earlier point – Krista deserves more and better resources with which to do her job and equip her educational headquarters.  In her ninth year as a teacher, Krista is now in her first year of teaching Third Grade.  Having started as a Kindergarten teacher and then shifting to First Grade, she accumulated a good stock of materials (often paid from her own funds) with which to teach her pupils and supplement their experience.  Now, she is in a rebuilding year.  But, the school and system in which she teaches can’t/won’t provide extra resources to stock her classroom with age-appropriate books and materials.  That’s where, I hope, you come in to the picture.  Krista has established a project page through DonorsChoose.org to seek funding for a selection of new books that her students will love.  I ask each of my readers to support this project.  Any amount will help.  In fact, if you give before Tuesday, September 23, and enter the promo code INSPIRE, your contribution will be a double help.  DonorsChoose.org will double those gifts.  Please support Krista and her students.  Sometimes, the right book can spark a love of reading that will fuel a child’s success in all other subjects.  It all begins with a book.  YOU can help Krista provide her students, this year and beyond, with those books.  Give in honor or memory of a teacher you loved.  Give in support of the education of kids like yours.  Give because you know the state hasn’t provided teachers with enough and you want to stick it to the man.  Give because you love books.  Just give.  Thank you.  And, thank God for teachers.
 

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” –Dr. Seuss

The Moments - Chapter 13: That's Why We Call Them GRANDparents

               I am constantly amazed by what a catalyst Joey has been for many new positive aspects in my life and the lives of others.  He gives me the opportunity to see things and people differently, often just by creating a new interaction point with them.  I believe for anyone with a child (or children), this is most evident by the renewed look we can take at our parents.  Hopefully, for all of us, it’s a positive one.  Until Joey was born, I saw life through the eyes of a solo-flying adult with the perspectives of son and little brother well-mastered in my mind, having been both for almost three decades at the time.  Since Joey’s birth, I can now compare and contrast those views with the viewpoint of a father, a man on whom another being truly depends.  While that is, essentially, what “The Moments” are all about, I also see another side of my life differently.  My parents are no longer “just” my parents.  They are Joey’s grandparents.  That creates a new role and perspective in their lives along with giving me a new view of them and their place in my life as we all watch each other love Joey and see him grow in his relationships with each of us.  Joey is extremely blessed to have two wonderful grandparents so actively and lovingly involved in his life.  As much as Joey impresses each of us (and everyone he meets), my Daddy and Mama have impressed me over the past nearly three years with their exhibitions of newfound grandparenthood and the enjoyment they have had with the little man who makes everything big fun.  No longer are they Daddy and Mama for, in the era of Joey, they are now Daddy J and Mama Tee. 

               Before getting to Joey’s grandparents, however, let me pay tribute to my own.  I was very fortunate to have all four of my grandparents in my life for most of it.  In fact, when I was born I still had all four of my maternal great-grandparents too.  My grandparents each contributed to who I am, and I cannot imagine what my life would have been like growing up without having known any one or all of them.  It would have been a joy for each of those who have already departed this life to have known Joey and enjoyed the light that he brings to everyone in our family.  I see that light every time he is around my Grandmama.  From the first time she met him and each time since, she has glowed with a smile and warmth which both reminds me of what others probably saw in her when my brother and my cousin and me were young and reminds me of what a natural generator of fun and happiness that Joey is.  Over the last couple of years, Grandmama has seen some significant changes in her life, between minor and major health scares to making the move into an assisted living facility.  At each point, Joey has made many days a little lighter and brighter for her, and he has even turned her assisted living apartment into his own indoor playground (he’s a big hit with her new neighbors, too).  For one of the people who, to me, set the standard in grandparenthood, Grandmama deserves nothing less.

               The standard that my Grandmama helped establish is being well honored by my own parents.  While I always knew that, given the opportunity, my parents would be amazing grandparents, I am constantly reminded how far beyond correct I am on that fact.  Just as Joey continues to display his ever-increasing connection to Daddy J and Mama Tee, they do not cease to impress with the affection, energy, and frequent generosity they show toward Joey.

               When I was a little boy, my Daddy was the strongest, coolest, funniest guy I knew.  He kept me laughing and, in my eyes, could do just about anything.  While that is still basically true, mine and his aging changed the modes of operation a bit and weakened my recognition of it as years progressed and life evolved (it’s called growing up).  Enter the Joey Factor.  With the addition of Joey in our lives, I almost see Daddy through a kind of time warp lens when I was a tot and Daddy was in his 30s.  Daddy’s energy is impressive when Joey is around, and they keep each other laughing with an infectious force that spreads to anyone near them.  From Joey’s earliest months of life, Daddy J could always put him at ease and keep a smile on his face.  Joey loves his Daddy J, and I love watching them have fun together, whether I’m a part of it in the moment or not.  When Joey and I were back home in Lexington for his first Christmas, they literally made a fun hour with just a mixing bowl and some wooden spoons.  Joey was a cute little drummer with an oversized helmet.  At that size, the bowl made for an interesting chair, too.  Daddy has always delighted in connecting Joey with animals and nature, taking him to farms near my “old homeplace” to run amongst chickens and goats and to see plants that he might not view much in the city where we live.  Mama and Daddy always keep a stock of episodes of “The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” recorded on their DVR.  When Joey and I are at their house, Daddy J is Joey’s favorite TV-watching buddy.  I think I’ve heard “Oh Toodles!” come out of my Daddy’s mouth more times than Joey’s.  Joey stays glued to the show anytime and anywhere it is on, but it’s obvious that watching it is more special to him when he does it with Daddy J.  Naturally, my Daddy, car enthusiast extraordinaire and resident racing fan, has also been the primary engineer of Joey’s interest in cars and, really, all vehicles.  From trips to car museums and car shows to introducing Joey to a full-sized Tow Mater from “Cars,” Daddy has exposed Joey to the art and variety that comes from America’s four-wheeled passion.  He has also let Joey experience a variety of practical vehicles, motorized and not.  Whether Daddy is letting Joey pretend to drive his 1938 Chevy Coup or he is actually pushing or pulling Joey in a wheelbarrow or wagon, they always seem to be flaunting their wheels together – and loving it.  When it was time for Joey to take his first go-kart ride, he proudly strapped in at Daddy J’s side as co-pilot before passing me after three laps to leave me in a cloud of dust.  In everything they do, Daddy and Joey bring lots of smiles and lots of joy to each other.  In that, they are a pair with a superpower that benefits everyone around them.

Goats and chickens and Joey! Oh my!

THE Tow-Mater

Speed Demons

               If, as a youngster, I saw Daddy as the man who could do it all, I certainly knew my Mama was the woman who could also do it all.  With Joey in the picture, that fact is reaffirmed time and time again.  Mama was always a thorough caretaker and nurturing mother.  Now, she takes those roles to their “grand” level and makes everything, big or small, more fun and more of an event than one would expect.  Whether it is putting together the right outfit for Joey to wear as Ring Bearer in my best friend’s wedding or arranging for a most appropriately and amazingly decorated cake for Joey’s second birthday or helping arrange and decorate Joey’s first bedroom, Mama has made the ordinary into the extraordinary and made it look too simple to be true.  Taking the word “made” more exactly, she has also adorned Joey’s world with some of the signature furniture pieces that he has put to much use as well.  Mama and Daddy were already constructing and recreating furniture and home accessories before Joey was born.  When he came along, the ideas and beautiful pieces started to flow even more.  The highchair Joey used at our home was the product of some great painting and accenting by Mama Tee; the lamp table in his bedroom was found and creatively adorned by her; and the unique chest of drawers, with vehicle handles in the top units, was found and refinished just for Joey by Mama Tee and Daddy J.  Between those pieces and the rocking chair, in which Mama rocked my brother and me as little ones, being in his room, it is as if Mama’s creativity and labor keep a part of her close to Joey when he is in our home, whether she is in Nashville or not.  She has shared that creativity with Joey directly, too.  It was a lot of fun watching them paint Easter eggs this year.  Perhaps she is training him up to be the next resident artist.  When the two of them are together, it is always an event.  In Nashville, Lexington, or anywhere else, Mama loves showing Joey off as the amazing boy of whom she is so proud.  If they are out running errands, she always comes back with stories of how Joey brightened everyone’s day, made her laugh, or pointed out every single product on the Wal-Mart shelves.  As it is through my mother’s bloodline that my appreciation of music is truly grounded (unfortunately, I didn’t get the actual talent there), it is only natural that Joey displays his love of song around Mama Tee so much.  While he and I have our own singing and dancing rituals (primarily to the hits of Elvis), it is a whole experience to see and hear Joey perform along with his Mama Tee.  In the car or not, they love to join together in song and have fun with whatever is playing.  They’ve even added a few of their own special duet arrangements to Joey’s repertoire.  Whether by sight or sound or activity or even the signs of deeds done when she is not around, Mama Tee is a very important part of Joey’s life and his interactions with her are always special. 

Stylish and yummy!

So classic that it won't move.

Color is hatching everywhere.

               As is the case with most young children, the toy that has held the most consistent association with my son is the one with which he sleeps.  In Joey’s case, that toy is Blue the Musical Dog, a gift from Daddy J and Mama Tee.  They gave it to him when he was almost four months old, and he hasn’t lost interest in him since.  The first time Joey “met” Blue, he lit up and, ever since, he knows Blue must be close by when it is time to go to sleep at Daddy’s house.  Much like the chest of drawers that sits near Joey’s bed, it is like Joey’s grandparents are close by when Blue is in Joey’s arms or lying next to him as he sleeps.

               Joey talks to my parents on the phone very regularly, but it is the personal and visual interaction that really brings the fun out of him.  Sometimes, I think he shows his yearning for that almost unconsciously.  Very recently, after picking him up from his mother’s house and driving our usual route to mine, Joey asked me out of the blue, “Are we going to our house, or to Mama Tee and Daddy J’s house?”  He gave me no argument when I said ours, but he had a look on his face that made me believe he was fully expecting such a trip soon.  A few weeks ago, Mama and Daddy suggested that Krista and Joey and I meet them for lunch on a Sunday to be followed by some fun time wherever we could find a good place to go.  Great idea.  We met in Dickson for lunch but found our after-lunch options limited as it had rained enough to eliminate most outdoor play places.  Before we realized just how much the rain had done, we drove to a local park to see if the structure was dry and clear enough.  Pulling into parallel parking spaces of each other, Krista and Joey and I sat in my car, while Daddy and Mama were in theirs.  My passenger window was open and their driver’s side window was open to allow us to converse for just a moment.  As the windows were rolling back up, we all heard a call to attention from my backseat.  “Daddy J!  Mama Tee!” Joey declared.  Krista rolled Joey’s window down so that he could project from his carseat.  Mama and Daddy realized he was trying to get their attention and one of them said, “What, Joey?”  Again, he announced, very clearly but slowly, “Daddy J!... Mama Tee… I’m in the car!” And, thus, Joey had spoken.  We all laughed a little.  Mama decided to give him a reply, “Ok!  We’re in the car too, Joey.”  And Joey happily shouted back, “Ok!”  He didn’t really need anything, but he had a smile on his face that said he just wanted to remind Daddy J and Mama Tee that he was there for them, just like he knows they are always there for him.