But In the South, It's A Religion

It's time I addressed a topic that stirs some of my most passionate opinions - sports. Specifically, sports in our public schools and universities. Here's a screenful of Chuck's-gonna-piss-someone-off-and-he-don't-care. So, take a look at the way we see things in Chuckonia...
I am from the South. I love the South - the food, the people, the language, the music, and the culture. Most of the culture, that is. Here in the South, sports are very important.... Too important.... Way too important. Don't get me wrong, sports have their place in the lives of many well-rounded individuals. They encourage competition and fun, which we heartily believe in here in Chuckonia. They are an excellent way to exercise. And on the large scale, they create cultural events that bring people together and have the same effect as a holiday parade or county fair. As good as all of that is, we have a problem with how devoted our society is to sports as opposed to other matters. The basic question here is balls vs. books. Sports-lovers and football-watching alumni can argue with me all they want, but in the final analysis, they can be proven to show more devotion to a pigskin than a bookworm. It's time for that to change. It's time to stop over-funding our athletic departments while under-funding the hard-working academics that send well-rounded and well-prepared individuals out into the world. We need smaller student-to-teacher ratios and larger coach-to-player ratios. It amazed me a few days ago when I saw 6 football coaches at the UofM, knowing that there are more. 6 different coaches?! This confuses, amazes, and angers me. My state sales tax dollars, tuition, and university access fees are paying for that. And yet, every time an important class is not offered or not offered conveniently, I'm supposed to be understanding when the excuse is "budget cuts." I've heard the gloom and doom of budget cuts so much when it comes to education in this state that I'm almost immune, except when I see such calamities as the too well-supplied athletic departments here at the UofM and elsewhere. Cut their budgets; it won't hurt them. In fact, cut all tuition and tax-dollar flow from every public school (elementary thru college) sports team in America and then watch them turn even bigger profits. "Impossible," you say. Let's break it down. For three semesters of college, before joining the hallowed ranks of resident advisors, I was a "Phonathon operator" - basically, the guy who called University of Memphis alumni and begged (with lots of style) for contributions to our academic scholarship funds. I enjoyed what I did, and I think I was kinda good at it. It bothered me, however, when I noticed certain trends in the refusal reasons of the graduates. Chief among them was "I've bought my season tickets," or "I'm a member of the Football Boosters," or any variation of the "I give to athletics and that's enough" excuse. It was infuriating. It certainly was not my first exposure to the balls over books mentality, but one of the worst. I was used to that attitude at my small-town Southern high school. But, as cruel as it sounds, most of the people exhibiting that attitude then were not college-educated nor expected to be as well-off financially. When I called college graduates (often with Masters degrees) who had more earning potential, I expected them to be more generous in general and intelligent enough to understand the true base purpose of an educational institution. Unfortunately, such enlightenment is still not widespread. But, back to the profit-making sports argument. My exposure to the "give me sports or give me death" mentality, topped off by my work experience in college, finally made me realize that the majority of Americans, most especially Southerners, will bend over backwards and sell the farm to keep sports in our schools. Such devotion could only be increased by pity. The pity that would come from eliminating all public funding from athletic programs in elementary schools, middle schools, high schools, and colleges. When the fans and alumni hear of such a tragedy, their checkbooks will open wider that Mick Jagger's mouth and the athletes will have more money than their coaches would know what to do with. The profits will keep them all sitting pretty.
Again, I remind you that sports have their place in society and in the lives of well-rounded individuals, but they should be completely funded by their own earnings and private interests. And if you try to point fingers at the fine arts, I point them back, knowing that they have never been as thoroughly funded by the school systems as sports are. So, the next time you have the option of funding scholastics or athletics, please remember which one is the true purpose of a school, which one produces the true leaders and thinkers and world-savers, and which needs it the most. I am proud to be a Christian here in the Bible Belt, but I also feel shame because I know that that is only the secondary faith of the region. As the old saying goes about football, "But in the South, it's a religion."