The Moments - Chapter 16: Just Another Day of Awesome

               Sometimes, the best way to think about “the moments” that Joey and I share is to simply survey a day with him as a snapshot of how much fun we have, how unintentionally creative or humorous his developing mind can be, and how precious each experience with him is.  Many days provide such an example, but I can’t help but think back to Halloween of this year as one of those special snapshots.  Each different activity gave me a chance to see Joey at his individual best and some of them gave us the chance to operate as a team.

               The prologue to Halloween 2014 came the previous night when Joey enjoyed his first full-costume run as Mario.  Our church hosted its annual Fall Fest to give kids a fun and safe and weatherproof pre-Halloween event with games, candy, and inflatable jumpers.  Joey loved it!  From the time we got out of the car at the church, he was repeating, “Hi, my name is Mario!”  I knew he would enjoy getting into character, and that evening was a fun precursor of the day to follow.  As I always do when putting him to bed, I said, “Joey, you had a big day today, didn’t you?”  I followed that by mentioning some of the things we had done over the course of the day and reminded him of what all we would do the next day.  I said, “Son, we had big fun today, and we’re going to have more big fun tomorrow.”  As he was lying in his bed just before I left the room, he looked up at me with a smile and asked, “We gonna have more big fun today, Daddy?”  He almost got it.  I kissed his forehead and whispered, “Well, we’ll have more big fun tomorrow.  For now, just go to sleep, Mario.”

               On Halloween itself, we got up a little earlier than our norm to drive to Murfreesboro.  Krista’s school was doing an event in which students of certain grade levels dressed up as storybook characters or represented vocabulary words.  Krista and some other teachers took their pets to add to the festivities, so her dog Buddy had already gone to work with her that day.  Joey and I were going to go watch the event and visit her class before taking Buddy back to Nashville.  Though we had discussed Krista’s profession before, the drive to her school provided some of Joey’s most pointed expression of thought about what she does for a living and his perceptions of the concept of “school.”  By Halloween, he had been going to his new daycare, which we refer to as his school, for about a month-and-a-half.  Though Joey knew where we were going and that we would see Krista and Buddy shortly, he asked me in the car, “Where’s Krista?”  I answered with, “She’s at her school.  We’ll see her and Buddy soon.”  His response came as, “Krista’s at school?  Who her teacher?”  Ok, a little role reversal there.  I said, “No, Krista is the teacher.  She teaches other kids at her school.”  We almost got a bit of Abbott and Costello going with, “Oh, ok.  But who is Krista’s teacher?”  I figured he’d get it in a minute, “She doesn’t have a teacher, Joey.  Krista is the teacher in her class at school.”  It sunk in, but next came, “Oh.  I go to school, too.  Where her school is?”  Good.  He seemed to be understanding that there are multiple schools in the world.  I answered with, “Her school is here in Murfreesboro.  That’s where we’re going today.  She teaches at a school for older kids.”  To clarify my understanding of the point, Joey finished this round off with, “Yeah, I go to a school for newer kids.”

               When we arrived at Krista’s school, I knew it would be a fun experience when one of the first school staffers we encountered asked if I was signing Joey in for being late.  Wow!  My almost three-year-old has clearly been eating his Wheaties.  There was a lot of commotion in the hallway in front of the school office, so I didn’t think much of the guy not having a better guess of Joey’s age.  I just grinned and said, “No.  He doesn’t go to school here yet.”  We went to the gym to enjoy the show and then followed Krista’s students back to their room. 

               Joey was a big hit in Krista’s classroom.  In fact, after the first few minutes, the students had taken him in as one of their own.  Between Joey and Buddy being in class with them, the students had a lot of newness to enjoy and investigate for a little while.  There was also a lot of chatter and activity.  Krista thought it would be fun to use Joey as her voice of authority.  She said, “Joey, tell them it’s time to be quiet.”  He complied, shouting, “Hey!  It’s time to be quiet.”  It started working a little.  Then she said, “Joey, tell them to shut their mouths.  You’re the boss now.”  We all heard, “It’s time to shut you mouths.  I’m the boss, ok?!”  It basically worked and was cute the first time.  But, like his Daddy, Joey enjoys a little surge of power and for the next few minutes, he kept walking up to students to repeat, “Be quiet.  Be quiet.  I’m the boss.”  Time to redirect.  While some of the students were crowded around Buddy, some others were showing Joey their desks and letting him help draw and color the pictures they had started earlier.  One even showed Joey some multiplication flash cards and, before I knew it, Joey had the cards and looked like he was trying to tutor the kid.  Wow!  My boy starts early (or just likes random flash cards).  Overall, we weren’t in Krista’s class very long, but Joey clearly made an impact.  It was time to take Buddy home and continue our day.  I think that Joey and Buddy had a nice chat in our car, but Joey never could get him to sing along with our Elvis CDs (even on "Hound Dog").  We took Buddy for a short walk and escorted him back up to Krista’s apartment.  Barely 11:30, and Joey had already hung out with two of his favorite fellow mammals in Murfreesboro and made some new friends.

               Next, it was time to take advantage of a fun Halloween freebie at IHOP – a free scary face pancake.  Yum!  The Antioch IHOP was not terribly crowded for our early lunch, and our wonderful waitress, Ariel, made friends with Joey very quickly.  When he told her that he wanted the free pancake, he instantly threw out the condition that, “I don’t want the face to be scary.”  Ariel promised that she would put the face on it herself and make it smile really big.  Indeed, she delivered, and his whipped cream-topped edible art was lovely and delicious.  We sat and ate, talking about what we had seen and done over the course of the day so far.  Joey would ask about Buddy and Krista’s school and the fun ahead when we would get dressed for Halloween night.  He also quickly learned to enjoy flirting with our waitress (he’s recently shown that he likes cute blondes).  We had had a full morning and got an early start.  It was now time to go home and let the little man take a nap.  After his nap, he would cease to be Joey for a while again.

               In the 4 o’clock hour, a little while after Joey emerged from a long nap and we read some Halloween-themed books, we began his transformation back into America’s favorite Italian plumber who was created by Japanese game designers (how’s that for diversity!).  Following his change, I made my own transformation into Mario’s brother, Luigi.  All the while, I had episodes of “The Super Mario Brothers Super Show” (a classic!) playing on my bedroom TV.  As Joey was dressing, he began singing the theme song and recreating the sounds of the Mushroom Kingdom.  His energy was high and his anticipation of a night as the Mario Brothers grew by the minute.  Soon after I finished my own ensemble, Krista arrived with Buddy who was wearing a frog costume (ode to Super Mario Bros. 3 – the frog suit).  Though Buddy wouldn’t join us for the whole night, Joey was set on hanging out with him as their alter egos for a while.

               As most of us know but few will admit, with younger children, Halloween is about showing off in character (as I write this on Thanksgiving, Joey still hasn’t eaten half of his candy).  Our display of Joey’s character began with some of our friends at the apartment complex office.  Joey loves everyone up there.  He has taken to calling the building “the rent” since he knows what we often do when we visit it.  Whitney and Brian snapped a few pictures and gave Joey the first treat of the night, a yummy cupcake.  He flaunted his Mario-ness, and we left to drop Buddy off back at Krista’s apartment.  As much as Joey wanted to keep him along for the night, malls don’t invite pets in too much, and we had decided to enjoy some indoor trick-or-treating at Cool Springs Mall.  Cold as it was outside, we welcomed an inside option.  The walk was long, but the candy flowed bountifully.  Joey did not care too much for the slow trek and long lines, but he was a trooper most of the time.  We saw one other pair of Mario Brothers and many folks who admired our paying homage to the greatest of all video game heroes.  Joey looked so cute.  The only scary moment, to me, of the night had nothing to do with any goblins or witches or vampires that we saw.  I got spooked when my recently potty-trained son who was clad in a jumpsuit with snug clothes underneath looked up at me in a very crowded mall and said, “Daddy, I have to go potty.”  Not having the map of every mall in Middle Tennessee committed to memory, all I could wonder was how far from the nearest bathroom we were and how could we plow through the crowd before Joey took Mario to the wrong water world in the costume that Mama Tee had found and very carefully altered to fit him.  After we departed the candy line that we were in, Krista said, “Just pick him up and run.”  That we did.  Joey was understanding about me taking care to protect him and the costume when we finally reached a restroom.  After that crisis passed, we gathered some more candy from the generous mall stores and then got some supper in the food court.  Joey was ready to lose his mustache at that point, but we weren’t ready to end the night.  After a short drive deeper into Franklin, we reached a neighborhood with which Krista and I are familiar to do a little traditional trick-or-treating at a few houses.  Yes, it was cold.  But, if Mario and Luigi can’t run through a few ice levels, who can?  The first of the three houses we visited had a tray outside the front door with a small sign reading “Please take one.”  The only trouble was that there was no longer one to take.  I told Joey that those folks were out of candy and that we would hurry over next-door.  Before we were halfway to the front of the next house, Joey asked, “Does this house have candy, Daddy?”  Uh oh!  Not a question I was comfortable with after we came up empty a few seconds earlier.  “I’m not sure, son.  I sure hope so.  Mario and Luigi don’t want to come up empty-handed, do they?”  He shook it off, “Ok, Luigi!  Let’s go.”  Fortunately the next two houses had goodies for my young plumber.  But, given the time of night, the chill of the air, and the spacing of the neighborhood, we decided to leave our outdoor trick-or-treating at that.  Two out of three ain’t bad for the candy grab at houses, and Cool Springs Mall had filled much of Joey’s bucket.  Back in the car, Joey was still glowing from his night of being Mario and he seemed to enjoy my getting in on the act as Luigi.  I thought he might doze off on the drive home, but he was wide awake and
chatting about everything we had done.

               Back home, we lit the awesome jack o’ lantern that Uncle Dusty had carved for Joey before opening the fun Halloween card that Dusty had given to him when he last saw us a few days earlier.  Halloween was always a favorite holiday of my brother’s when we were growing up.  Trick-or-treating was always more special when we were both still young enough to do it together and, as he got older, Dusty always delighted in decorating the house for Halloween and usually used me as his extra hands and feet to get the work done.  It was only fitting to end the night with those two colorful items that Dusty had sent to add to mine and Joey’s first full Halloween together. 

               With his jumpsuit and “M” hat off, Joey took a bath and got ready for bed as the jack o’ lantern continued to flicker outside against the wind.  As I put him to bed, again I said, “We had a big day today, didn’t we, Joey?”  I love seeing and hearing the genuine sense of enjoyment that comes from my son after a day like that.  He fell asleep quickly.  We were both exhausted.  But the fun “day in the life of Joey” film that was already running through my head gave me a smile and reminds me of how precious each and every moment is – whether we’re hanging out in our real world or the Mushroom Kingdom.

The Moments - Chapter 15: Those Scandalous Chipmunks

               The details have been kept secret from everyone (except the dozens of people I’ve already told) until now.  Here, I will share the identity of who deserves blame for all of the world’s flatulence.  It is a story that simply must be told and a truth that must finally be revealed.  It is also an example of one of the first times that something my son said simply made me scratch my head and realize that there is little rhyme or reason to the random things that come out of a child’s mouth when they are first learning to speak.

               Joey was barely over a year old when he revealed this powerful truth to me.  He had verbally, for a few weeks, been past the phase of simply saying a collection of words and was getting into multi-word phrases.  They weren’t necessarily sensible phrases, but solid proof that he was starting to put words together with some kind of meaning in his own mind.  It is strange for me to now look back at that time and know that it was only last year, while within the last few days I’ve had multiple complex conversations with my brilliant little chatterbox.  During the Spring and Summer of last year, however, I eagerly awaited the first random words of the morning to come from Joey because they often started the day with a dose of hilarity.  There are many other moments in this category that still stand out and occasionally replay in my mind, but my favorite has to be this…

               As was my weekend routine with Joey in those days, I entered his room after hearing enough noise on the baby monitor to know that his slumber had ended.  Upon opening the door, I entered his room and approached the bed where Joey was already standing up and sleepily looking at me.  I softly said, “Good morning, Joey.”  The cute little sleepy-head swayed from side to side a bit, still getting his bearings.  Several seconds passed before Joey’s first word of the day emerged, “Munk.”  I was confused.  I had gotten used to him saying something that made a little sense to me.  I asked him, “What did you say, Joey?”  He repeated with a little more clarity in his voice, “Munk.”  My mind started racing into translator mode.  What did ‘munk’ mean to him?  Was I not connecting it to another word properly?  Without much of a clue, except that he probably wasn’t talking about male members of a silent religious order, I said, “Munk?  Is that what you said?”  He confirmed, “Uh-huh.  Munk.”  Figuring I would give it a try, I asked, “Joey, are you talking about ‘chipmunks’?”  Still with his sleepy face, Joey slowly responded with, “Uh-huh.  Munk….  Alvin pooted.”  So that was the chipmunk in question!  We had an answer.  It was also one of the audibly clearest statements my son had ever made around me up to that point.  But ‘Alvin pooted’?  Was this his way of telling me that he had passed gas before I entered the room?  I’m not sure about that instance, but it became our standard phrase for the passing of gas from then on (still is).  In the weeks that followed, if a toot was heard in the vicinity of Joey, he often followed it with “Alvin pooted” or the more colloquial “Alvin a-pooted.”  (As Sophia taught us in the 5^th season of “The Golden Girls,” “People only use the ‘a-‘ when a really big storm is a-comin’ or a-brewin’.”  Sometimes, Joey brews quite a storm.)  I’m sure that Joey had watched some old “Alvin & the Chipmunks” cartoons or had seen part of one of the newer movies by that time but, ironically, he and I have, to this day, never watched any of those things together.  He had had just enough of it to stick out in his mind then.  Whether he continues the tradition out of his own memory or not, he now has the constant reminders from his Daddy and Mama Tee and Daddy J (who is famously credited with the declaration that "We're gonna wake up pooting icicles," when faced with a cold winter's night in Chattanooga) and a few others who will never let Alvin’s gas pass when anyone passes gas.  Given the style and attitude with which Joey now uses and repeats the line, I think it can easily qualify as his first inside joke.

               It may not be your favorite topic to discuss or even read about (thanks for sticking with me this far along) but you can’t deny that a little gas can be quite a gasser from time to time.  So, anytime you feel a little rumble or hear a toot when there isn’t a train in sight, just take a page from Joey’s playbook and blame it on a cartoon chipmunk (I’m sure Simon and Theodore put up with it in some homes, too) and then go about your business.  It’s their gas to claim.  As their song says, “It’s been a while, but we’re back in style.” (the Chipmunks, not their acts of flatulence)  Join me and Joey in making Alvin the spokesman for your personal gas company.